We spend a lot of time wrapped up in our own little worlds. I can’t pay all the bills, I can’t buy all the food, I can’t pay off that debt this month and we’ll have to deal with more late fees, I hate my job, I hate my boss, I hate everything about my life. I know most of us aren’t this bad all the time, but it is a slippery slope from having a bad day to having a miserable life.
I am a parent. That’s the only thing I’ve got going for me that means anything to me. I don’t care much about my job or my social status or even my personal wellbeing, being a parent is the only reason I keep getting up in the morning.
My oldest daughter saved my life. Twice. Once, when I was still a teenager myself, she came in and gave me a reason to see past the bullshit I surrounded myself with, and to work toward a better life. A few years ago she saved my life by getting help when I wasn’t able to, I was depressed and suicidal and couldn’t bring myself to face my own demons. She did it for me.
Life goes on and we, as parents, often forget to make time to do the only thing that really matters, to be there for our children. We need to make an effort to reach out to our children and be there for them, to be there to pick them up when they fall down, to be there to give them advice or guidance or love when they need it most. We need to be there to tell them that it’s okay to make mistakes and that they don’t have to scream to be heard, because we will always listen.
As a parent I get scared of kids today. I feel like I’m barely an adult sometimes, and it’s terrifying to see a person look to you for all the answers, when you’re still searching for them yourself, it makes me want to run and hide. It’s scary to see how they express themselves, then I think back to how I expressed myself and I understand a little more.
I wish somebody would have explained it to me, that somebody would have told me that I don’t have to act out to get attention, that I won’t always get what I want, that sometimes it gets worse and it never gets better and that you’ve got to just move on. I wish somebody would have been there when I was all alone and trying to fight the world.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the mundane facts of life and forget to do the things that make up your reason for living. There is so much more to living than just paying the bills, so much more to parenting than just always being right.
I love my kids, and my nieces and nephews, and every person I’ve come across that needs love more than anything else. I just felt like taking the time to say so.