I managed to find the worst La Quinta in Denver. I’m not sure how. I drove by at least three other La Quintas in Denver on my way to this one. I should have stopped. I thought about stopping, but I get anxiety from weird things and, even though I was tired and thought the ones on the outskirts of the city were nice and probably provided nice views of the mountains, I kept pushing on to the city center because Google Maps told me to. I don’t know why I was fixated on La Quinta either, I just rely too much on Google search I guess.
I’ve been on vacation since last Thursday. I drove to Texas to surprise my sister and be there to celebrate her graduation from two seperate colleges at the same time. Yes, she was dual enrolled and managed to get a second Associate’s and a Bachelor’s degree while being a single mother living on her own in a town two hours away from her nearest family member, so there was a lot of hard work and frustration, there were a lot of late nights and tears, and there was a lot second guessing. But, she is one of the toughest people I know and I was confident from the very beginning.
Now I am en route to Wyoming to see my nieces and nephew, and my brother and his wife. I drove up to Denver from Ft. Hood yesterday and I’ll finish the trip today, I should be there in seven-ish hours.
I have not taken a vacation in a decade. The last time I took a vacation I was in the Army and that was the thing to do before deploying overseas, so I did it. Since then I have never thought of taking a vacation. Sure, I have taken impromptu road trips on three-day weekends, I’ve taken time off work to deal with deaths, I’ve been out of work for months at a time, but I have not taken a vacation since 2009. This whole time, though I’ve been enjoying myself, I still can’t shake the irrational guilt I’m feeling – I should be at work right now. I have been fighting my own brain, it keeps wanting to think about work, it keeps picturing me going back to work next week, the things that aren’t getting done right now, the things that I’ll have to fix when I get back, the things I could be doing better than the other guys right now.
I am very glad I took this trip. I am very glad that I got to surprise my sister. I am very glad that I’m taking time to do things that matter to me. I am also learning a little bit, learning what I should do better next time, learning how to put my anxiety aside and do things that I know are worth doing, learning how to be okay with not having everything planned out in splendid detail.
I have always had a hard time having fun. I have always been hyperfocused on seemingly irrelevant details, what can go wrong, what should be this certain way, what needs to be done first, then second, then third and so on. If any of you share this affliction, this inability to relax and be okay with not being in control, I strongly suggest that you get with your family members or your friends and take a trip, experiment with freedom and whim, let go a little and you might learn that it’s okay to not know exactly what comes next.
Thanks for stopping in folks! I appreciate your time and attention, when I get home from this trip I will be able to spend more time writing and sharing with you all.
Go out and be the best version of yourself that you can be!