I’m a grown man, I’ve been many places around the world, done many things that required mature skills and seasoned knowledge. I don’t like people, I’m preemptively mean to them so they don’t invade my space. I don’t do anything, I’m anhedonic and depressed. My body hurts, my bones hurt, my joints click. I don’t presently have my own lawn, but when I did I was gruffly over-protective of it. I’m not really in touch with the part of my being that experiences love and joy. I’m just a grumpy old man.
There is something about animal crackers that breaks down all the walls I’ve built and allows torrential joy to flood my system. I am still amazed at the monkeys and kangaroos in my hand. I can visualize the actual animal and feel the spiritual wonder that I felt as a child. I can almost hear the laughter and smell the crowd at the circus that I fabricate in my mind to house and showcase these wondrous animals. I still make them do tricks and speak with British accents. I still bite things off one at a time. I still have a window to the magical world where everything is truly possible and waiting for me just around the corner.